Fi (little_fi) wrote in adultbabies,

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Hi. I'm Fi. I'm not entirely new to infantilism as I have looked up many things about it, but I still do not know a lot and apologize if I come across as ignorant or insensitive. In all honesty, I'm just uninformed. I discovered that I was into ageplay about five years ago; I haven't done much with it offline, other than occasionally dressing as younger than I am. I'm rather short, so I can still wear children's clothing. I realized that I had an interest in infantilism recently...and I'm honestly having a difficult time with it. I don't understand why; I have no problem with infantilism itself nor with others who are interested in it...but for some reason I feel guilty and ashamed for liking it. I was wondering if anyone might be able to offer some advice on how to become more comfortable with the fact that I like it. I was also wondering if anyone might be able to offer advice on how a little can enjoy infantilism, without a big, or parent figure. (I apologize if my terminology is incorrect.) 
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Hi. It's nice to meet you too. :)

Our society drives us to grow up by making personal fun out of not being grown up. Something which should be frowned upon, because it teaches children to tease.

I agree with you completely.

I think a personal issue I have with ageplay and infantilism is that I don't really have anyone I can talk to about it.

I've told a few of those close to me about it and while they accept it...they don't really understand it. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't have anyone I can relate to.
I don't know anything about your situation, so this may or may not be applicable, but for me a lot of what took me out of the place of fear and shame and embarrassment was finding people that I could talk to and hang out with in kid mode who understand and accept and don't have a problem with me being myself around them. Even more helpful was finding occasional venues where I can hang out with other littles and just let everything out.

I'll be honest - in some ways it's a LOT harder without having a grownup figure around since some of what you're looking for is the interaction and the nurture, but there are some things that can help you explore other aspects of the infant side of things.

I find that for me, the baby side can't come out online. The older kids can, but the baby's way too little for typing, so when she needs some nurture and care it's all about the offline stuff. A lot of that tends to be all about setting the mood properly. Lots of soft textures - polar fleece, soft blankies, plushies, pillows - depending on the age, a baby probably isn't going to be walking around much, so creating a nice nest to curl up in with lots of soft things in varying colors and textures can be a good start. If you're going for a nest like that and you have a bed that's up against a wall and has a headboard and footboard, a twenty dollar side rail that tucks under your mattress like they use for kids that fall out of beds can make a decent impromptu crib without forcing you to shell out big bucks, plus it has the benefit of easily being hidden under a bed or in a closet when you're not in baby mode. If you don't want to go for the crib option, nests on the floor can work, too. Having a couple of things to stick in your mouth - bottles, teething rings, plastic toys, pacifiers - can help set the mood, too. I also think that clothing choices make a huge difference. If you're in the US, around Christmas time Target carries $25 footie pajamas in adult sizes. If nothing else, picking up a pair of those is worth it on so many levels - the texture plays into the soft, childish aspect of things, as does the emotional impact of footie pajamas and the "cute" element. I like to get them a little bigger than necessary for a proper fit so I'll feel even littler and so there's plenty of space inside. Setting up ahead of time in a babyish outfit with a thick diaper (or, more often, a thinner diaper with lots of layers of soakers) so that you don't need to worry about changing it while in baby mindset and lying down in that nest/crib/on a blanket you can suck on or chew on your toys, wave them around, babble a bit, kick your legs, play with your toes, maybe drink from a bottle, snuggle with your plushies... If you're a little older, perhaps you can crawl around and explore things from a new angle, pull out some fingerpaints and make a masterpiece, pull out a tray and fill it up with shaving cream and a couple of drops of food coloring and enjoy mashing it about with your fingers and playing with the colors. You can set yourself up with your comfy nest and a childish movie or tv show and enjoy singing along and clapping your hands. Try eating Cheerios one at a time off of a table with your pincer grip. Stick things in your mouth that "don't belong there." Pick up some bath toys and take a bubble bath and play with them. Give yourself weird hairstyles and facial hair with the bubbles.

I hope those ideas help some.
I totally meant to give some helpful ideas of where to find people to talk to about these things and forgot.

First thing, the internet is a good place to start if you look at sites where people understand. When you've been talking to people about this stuff online for a while, sometimes it's easier to make that transition to talking to people in the real world about it.

Secondly, if there are any in your area, Littles Munches are good places to meet likeminded people in public venues where you don't have to worry about whether you're going to something weird and scary. Since they meet in public, you can even watch the group surreptitiously before deciding whether or not to go up to them and join the group.

If there's not a Littles Munch in your area, sometimes kinky groups or gatherings host events for ageplay. Those can be a little scarier if your little side isn't kinky or sexual, so you need to be careful to get a good feel for the group and see if you're comfortable with them, but in healthy groups the people are usually pretty friendly and accepting of other peoples' boundaries. From what I hear, Fetlife also has a ton of ageplay groups, so that can be a good resource if you're trying to connect with other Littles and Bigs in your area.